Inspired by the Swap Meet Hero forum thread, I rewrote Foreigner's "Juke Box Hero" song. Queue the music...
Junk Wax Hero
Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out card show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream
He heard one card sold, just blew him away
He saw dollar signs in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up Yastrzemski, in a local card store
Didn't know how to display it, but he knew for sure
That one card, felt good in his hands, didn't take long, to understand
Just one card, bought very low
Was a one way ticket, only one way to go
So he started collectin', ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on collectin', someday gonna make it to the top
And be a junk wax hero, (got dollar signs in his eyes) he's a junk wax hero
He took one card (junk wax hero dollar signs in his eyes)
Junk wax hero, (dollar signs in his eyes) he'll sell high tonight
In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the card shop door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one card, made his whole life change
Now he needs to keep on collectin', he just can't stop
Gotta keep on collectin', that boy has got to stay on top
And be a junk wax hero, got dollar signs in his eyes
He's a junk wax hero, got dollar signs in his eyes
Yeah, junk wax hero, dollar signs in his eyes
With that one card (dollar signs in his eyes)
He'll sell high, sell high tonight, woah
Yeah, he's gotta keep on collectin', just can't stop
Gotta keep on collectin', that boy has got to stay on top
And be a junk wax hero, got dollar signs in his eyes
He's a junk wax hero (aah aah aah)
Junk wax hero, (aah aah aah) junk wax hero, he got dollar signs in his eyes
Dollar signs in his eyes
Someday my cards may double in value and then be worth half of what I paid for them.